Smile
by Kaci Brianna
Summary: Demyx spent a majority of his life feeling lonely, and took up a habit of studying smiles to find one as sad as his. When he bumps into Zexion, and sees his sad smile, he can't do anything but watch him. When the roommates find out, they do everything in their power to get them together, but things don't work out as well as they'd planned.


**A/N:** I know Demyx may seem a bit out of character, but that's because I view him as someone who is intelligent, but nobody believes him because he also babbles about nothing in particular and gives strange answers when he's rushed, which he usually is. And also because he IS a bit out of character. Likewise with Zexion; I dislike there being so many assumptions that he's this emotionless, uber-depressed loner. Also, I find it _offensive_ when fanfic writers portray him as a depressed, suicidal, self-mutilating freak. As someone who's been through that, it immediately turns me off and makes me irrationally angry when a writer does that. But I digress; I know the characters may seem OOC, but I enjoy how I wrote them. (:

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Sadly, everything belongs to Disney and Square Enix.

And now, please enjoy the first real Zemyx fic I've written in over two years c:

**EDIT 8.16.2012:** I've literally just spent an entire day going through this fic and fixing all spelling and grammar mistakes. And then, once I pressed that god-damned "Save" button, this website decided to be a turd and sign me out. So it didn't save. I know I have several thousand mistakes, but they're honest-to-god typos and aren't on purpose!

**Edit 9.9.2012: **I'm going to try this again. Let's do this.

* * *

**Prologue**

I had a habit of looking at smiles. I would analyze them, take mental notes on them. I would try and see underlying emotion in the smile, or if the person was genuinely happy. I don't remember when I began doing this; I'd done it for as long as I can remember.

Maybe it started because nobody ever took me seriously. I was always… in the background. Now, if you were to see me on campus or around town, you'd see me surrounded by a group of people, and you'd think "Wow; that kid has so many friends". But truthfully, I was pushed into the background. I was given little attention. I guess it was because I was typically a chatterbox. I disliked silence, and so I would fill it up with whatever I could: random noises, music, talking. A lot of the time, I ended up rambling and babbling about nothing at all until someone told me to shut it.

After a few years of that happening, it took a toll. Anybody who has had that happen to them will know what I'm talking about. Being pushed aside, forgotten about, ignored—it made me feel like nobody cared. But I still put up the happy-front, and I really started paying more attention to smiles.

Maybe, if I saw a smile and found underlying sadness, I'd know I wasn't alone. Sometimes I wondered if I knew anybody who shared the same habit, who would see how sad, how lonely I felt.

But I knew that was a long shot.

I have friends, don't get me wrong. I have wonderful friends: Axel, my pyromaniac roommate; Roxas, his petite boyfriend; Sora, Roxas's twin brother. They were the closest friends I had… but they weren't my bestfriends. No, I don't think I had one. I had friends, and I had close friends, but no bestfriend.

And so I would look for a sad smile, a smile that said "Yes, I look happy, but I'm dying inside, and I need someone to save me".

And with a world that had over seven billion people… it shouldn't have been that hard.

But people who were aching were wonderful actors, and could hide their true emotions as if they were breathing. It came naturally to them. I was jealous of them, and yet I wasn't. When I was home visiting my family, I wished I had their talent, because my mom would always ask me what was wrong. And yet, I wasn't jealous, because then… who would see my sadness?

* * *

My cell phone was ringing. Looking at the Caller ID, I rolled my eyes, but took it anyways.

"Demy!" my friend slurred. "Demy… Roxy says you need to come get us."

It was Axel, and he was drunk. Apparently, Roxas was, too; but Roxas at least had a brain when he was wasted. He knew to _not _drive. I sighed.

"Where are you?" I asked him.

He giggled, and I rolled my eyes. "I don't know," he whispered and then laughed. I imagined, if I saw him, he'd be silently laughing, and I could practically hear the phone go from Axel's to Roxas's.

As Roxas prattled off the address, I walked towards my car. "I guess I'll get dinner later, then," I said to myself as I hung up with Roxas an unlocked my door.

Once the address was punched into my GPS, I set off for my two friends. Roxas had explained shortly that Axel had taken him there as a surprise date, but instead it turned out to be a frat party. I believed that Roxas wouldn't have gone if he knew, but Axel would've gone without a second's hesitation.

I thanked the heavens that the house they were at wasn't far away, and stopped by the curb when I saw my tall, fire-truck red porcupine-haired friend of mine and his shorter other half.

They got in the backseat and I had to repress my disgust as a wave of alcohol passed by me. I opened my windows in an attempt to air out my car, only for the alcohol scent from the house to enter it. I drove away faster than anyone could say "Party", and drove straight for the university.

"Roxas, you're the more-sober, right?" I asked.

He rolled his head on his neck, in a mixture of a nod and a shake. "I guess. Maybe I just hold my liquor better than he does?"

I rolled my eyes. "When we get back to Uni, I want you both in your own rooms, with a glass of water and in bed. Got it?"

Something in my tone must've told them through their drunken state that I was being serious, and they both nodded solemnly.

"I'm going to get dinner. I'll be back the second I finish eating to check on the two of you."

It was times like this where I could be serious—_and_ sound smart—without being looked at like I'd grown a third eye. Maybe it was because of my constant babbling, but people had a hard time believing I was an honor-roll student growing up, even making straight-A's in my marine biology and music classes in high school. When others were diminished in some way, be it being drunken or high, they didn't question why I suddenly sounded so smart.

We arrived back on campus, and I helped Axel out of the car. However, he was too large for me to properly support. (He wasn't overweight by any means, though; he actually was quite _under_weight. But something about him made him so _heavy_!) I staggered under him. Even with Roxas's help, we couldn't carry him.

I looked around at the students around us, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Lexaeus. "Lexy!" I called. He turned towards me and I waved him over towards myself, also saying, "Help!"

He came obediently, and I huffed my breath. "It's Axel and his lard-ass; he's too heavy for me to carry. Can you help me, please?" I gave him my best puppy-eyes. I didn't need to; Lexaeus was a pretty cool friend of mine, who took biology with me. He was gifted, and I loved listening to him talk about sea-life.

He put an arm around Axel's back and helped bring him into our room which was—thankfully—on the first building we passed. Once there, I thanked him with a hug and a smile, and he nodded and left.

Then I turned around and glared at Axel. He looked at me and dived under his covers, as though they would hide him from me. I grabbed a pillow from my bed and began hitting his body, but mostly playfully.

Axel was a good friend. He enjoyed going out and partying, and he spoke in sarcasm more than he did English sometimes, but he was loyal to his friends. He never outright lied about anything that was serious. Yeah, he told little white lies, but really, who didn't?

Roxas was similar to his older boyfriend, but almost the exact opposite at the same time. While Axel looked much older than he was, Roxas looked much younger. The two only had a one year age difference, even though it looked more like five, or even ten years. Roxas was much more responsible, even though he, too, enjoyed going out and having a good time. He also was incredibly loyal, as well as protective—at least, he was protective over Sora, his younger twin brother. He got jealous easily as well. If anybody, of either gender, looked at Axel with anything in their eyes, Roxas was quick to tell them off.

But I digress.

I didn't really mind watching out for my drunken friends, even if Axel gets a little _too_ touchy-feely when intoxicated. It wasn't anything horrible, though; he was just the type of guy who had loved cuddling. Usually, he and Roxas would cuddle. Though, in times like these where I separated them, he would latch himself on the nearest moving object: me.

I rolled my eyes and left my room once I noticed Axel was snoring loudly. Yeah, he was sound asleep. I put my room key back around my neck once I locked my door and walked away, towards the cafeteria.

I looked at my fellow classmates as I walked past them. Some were texting, some were cramming for an upcoming test they may have had, and some were talking to their friends. I saw lots of smiles, and a few neutral faces, but nothing underlying.

And sadly, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. I knew I was in the general direction of the cafeteria, but I didn't see myself walk into a student.

"I am so sorry!" I exclaimed, instinctively putting my hand out to help the person up. Once he took my hand and stood, I recognized him vaguely. "Hey, I have a few classes with you," I said.

He nodded and looked up at me with indigo eyes. He looked about the same height as Roxas and Sora. I frowned. "I'm sorry… Zexion, right?"

He nodded. I let a thankful breath out. "I'm sorry, Zexion," I said. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

He shook his head and brought a hand up to fix his hair. "No—no, it's fine. I'm fine. I've, uh, got to go and study, though."

I nodded quickly. "Oh, go ahead! I just wanted to apologize; I'll watch where I'm going now."

He smiled and walked away.

And I saw the pain in it.

* * *

Axel knew something was up when I returned to the room. I hadn't eaten; I got a plate of food, and I played with it, but I didn't eat it. I was too busy thinking to eat. So I'd sighed and threw the food away and returned to my room. Axel was awake, and he was experiencing the beginnings of a hangover.

I immediately flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I finally found someone who looked like he was hiding his pain. Finally, after years and years of looking. What was he hiding? I wondered. Maybe he was depressed? He certainly was quiet enough. I mean, aren't most depressed people pretty quiet? Zexion was nearly silent most of the time, and only spoke when the teacher talked to him. Come to think of it, I thought, I'd never seen him talk to any of the students. He always worked alone.

He's cute, I thought in the back of my mind. His hair was a strange colour; not quite blue, not quite purple, not quite silver. It was… unique—and gorgeous. He was small, but not in the same way as Roxas and Sora. Yes, he was equally short, give or take an inch or two, but he was fit, or he looked that way, at least. He was cute. And I_ knew_ he was smart; he had the highest grades in all the classes we shared.

Axel was looking at me, and I knew he was. But I wasn't paying attention too much. I was thinking about Zexion, of his strange coloured hair and his small figure. I still was wondering why there was pain behind his smile; it was beautiful, but so saddening at the same time.

"Demyx, you haven't been this quiet for this long in years," Axel whined. "What are you thinking about?"

I looked at him through one of my eyes, raising my eyebrow. Lying smoothly, I told him, "I'm thinking about a song I wrote. I've been trying to write the music down, but I can't figure out what my time signature is, if there's one at all. It jumps around a lot, my song. Maybe I could get away with four-four, but that just doesn't seem right to me…." I rambled on and on with whatever would roll out of my mouth. Music was the only thing I could really talk about that people wouldn't look at me like I was crazy. I knew my music, and nobody questioned it.

But my mind was still on Zexion.

Several weeks passed, and with each day I noticed Zexion more and more. I had four out of seven classes with him, not including lunch, which I also shared with him. I noticed his hair was a mostly blue-based lilac colour, with certain hints of a darker, almost navy blue, but it all connected and went together beautifully. I also noticed his silence towards the students, except for Sora and Riku—who, through Roxas, I found out were his friends. He didn't talk much, except to talk to them and the teachers. It was strange.

He never went anywhere without a book, I noticed. He always had a different book with him, and when he wasn't working on something for class, he was reading. Or he was writing; he always carried the same leather-bound notebook with him. I assumed it was for notes, but when I saw him writing away in it during lunch and after all our classes were finished, I concluded it was something of a journal.

He always wore a similar outfit: jeans (usually dark blue or black skinny jeans) and an oversized hoodie, with black high-top converse or what looked like combat boots. His hair was always styled in the same way: covering the entire right side of his face, covering his forehead, and neck-length.

I didn't go out of my way to talk to him, though. He probably didn't like me because I walked into him. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who held grudges for things like that, but I knew guys who looked like they wouldn't harm a fly who would break both your arms in a seconds' notice.

When I wasn't around him, I was thinking about him. I wanted to get to know him, to find out why his smile was so sad. I'd spent nearly my whole life trying to find a smile like mine, and I finally did; but he was so secretive. I didn't have to talk to him to know that. I wanted to ask Sora or Riku, but I wasn't close to them, either. Yeah, I knew them, and was friends with Sora's brother, but the two couldn't have been more different.

Where Roxas was stubborn and more of a realist than anything, Sora was a push-over and an optimist. Roxas was blonde and enjoyed going to parties with Axel; Sora was brunette and appeared to spend a majority of his time with Riku and Zexion both, but never went to a party that I knew about.

Of course, I didn't know him either.

I found myself lying awake at night, wondering things about Zexion. What did _he_ do when he couldn't sleep? Did he lie awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about whatever came to mind like I did? Or would he pick up a book and read? I smiled and went with the latter of the two. Zexion would've read something, or written in his journal. Were I at home, I would've played my sitar. But here, Axel got angry with me when I picked up my instrument in the middle of the night.

At some point that night, I managed to fall asleep. I dreamt of mostly blue hair and indigo eyes.

* * *

"Wake up, Demyx!" my roommate screeched, hitting me with a pillow. I usually woke up before he did, and for good reason. Axel did _this_: hit me with a pillow and scream in my ear. The first time he did it to me, I punched him. Now, I'd gotten used to it, even though it only happened about once a month, sometimes twice. I groaned and turned onto my stomach, burying my ears in my pillow, trying to block out his wake-up call.

But he knew I'd do that. He pulled my blankets clean off of me and jumped on my bed, almost causing me to fall off. I looked up at him—no, I _glared _at him. He grinned.

"Axel…" I said, trying to speak calmly. "It's Saturday. I could've slept in, you jackass!" Oops; well, there goes my calm.

He grinned wider, rivaling even the Cheshire Cat. "I know; but Roxas and I wanted you to come with us to the park."

I groaned and curled up on the floor. "Axel, I'm _tired_. I hardly slept last week because of school being evil and making me study twice as hard. Besides, I'm just going to be the third-wheel. You two always ditch me to go making out in the bathroom."

He didn't even deny the fact. But he had a spark of… something, in his eyes. He looked excited. "Please, Demy?" he asked, using that damned nickname. I hated it. "We have a surprise for you, that's why we wanted you awake so early. We know how long it takes you to get ready, and you _have _to look nice."

I sighed, knowing it was no use to argue. When Axel wanted something, he got it. I walked past him, shoving him as I did so, and walked to the bathroom, where I turned the water on to shower.

_A surprise; really, Axel? _I thought. With my luck, he'll have set me up with a blind date, no doubt with one of the guys who just wanted in my pants. It happened often, weird as it was. Some guy would always come up to me when I was alone and flirt relentlessly. The last time, it was a weird black-haired man with grey streaks and an eye-patch. The time before that, it was a feminine man with pink hair. And before _that_, a man with bleach-blonde hair who reminded me of James Marsters as Spike, complete with the English accent. I was tempted to call him Captain Peroxide, but I didn't know how he would've reacted.

To please Axel, I washed my hair twice, ensuring it was as clean as it would get, and conditioned as I washed my body and my face. Then, once my conditioner was rinsed completely and my body was clean, I stood underneath the water, basking in it until it began to lose its heat.

I got out and wrapped myself with my towel after drying my hair a little. Then I exited the bathroom to find Axel and Roxas going at it. I rolled my eyes and threw a pair of socks at them, and they saw me. Roxas blushed; Axel was raising his eyebrow. I shook my head and grabbed my outfit: underwear (obviously), blue skinny-jeans, an undershirt, and a blue button-up that was slightly too large. I walked back to the bathroom, dressed, and began working on my hair.

After it was styled into my mull-hawk, I walked back out to see the two had stopped making out and were laughing at something privately. I didn't even ask. Instead, I pulled on some socks and my white Doc Martens.

As I was rolling up my shirt sleeves, Roxas frowned at me.

"What?" I asked.

He tilted his head. "That shirt won't work," he said simply. He then decided to go through my dresser and closet until he found one he deemed_ would_ work. He made a noise like "Aha!" and pulled out one of my old solid black shirts that was a bit too small for me. I made a face and continued with rolling my sleeves up.

He threw it at me, and I threw it on the floor.

Then he crossed his arms and pouted. I paid him no mind. Then I lied down on my back and shut my eyes, an attempt to ease my forming headache. It was no use, though, as Axel suddenly picked me up and carried me outside, over his shoulder.

I beat on his back and did my best to kick him, but failed miserably. Then he shoved me in the backseat of his car and he and Roxas sat in the front, leaving me to sulk in the backseat.

"Where are we going?" I demanded. It came out as more of a whine than anything else.

I heard Roxas attempt to stifle a laugh. I raised an eyebrow at him and he avoided my eyes.

Axel said, "I told you: we're going to the park."

"Fine," I said, my eyes narrowed. "What's at the park? You said I had a surprise."

"Oh you do," Roxas said. "We set you up on a date."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "Why?" I begged. "You know half the guys on campus are brain-dead idiots!"

Axel looked at me through the rear-view mirror. "The guy we have is kinda brilliant. You'll thank us later."

And neither of them said anything more on the subject.

* * *

**Zexion**

I was being dragged against my will by my roommate and his boyfriend to go on some kind of a blind-date. With my luck, I'll be facing the abnormally large silent man, or the blonde scientist. I groaned, digging my feet in the ground as if it would stop Sora and Riku, though I knew it wouldn't. If it did anything, it slowed them down. They woke me up at God-only-knows-how-early this morning, and forced me into the shower, and when I got out I had clothes sitting on the sink. I'd sighed and put them on, feeling odd in the too-tight clothes, knowing I'd need my oversized hoodie before I went anywhere.

But then, Sora sat me down in his desk's chair in front of the window, and he did my makeup. I never wore any; why he put some one me was a mystery. When I finally had the chance to look at myself, I nearly gagged. Yes, the makeup was nice, but it was too much. I wiped it off when the brunette wasn't looking so as to not hurt his feelings as bad.

Then they dragged me out of my room and into their car, where I sat now, attempting to slide on my hoodie without their noticing.

They refused to tell me anything more than I was going on a date. With whom, though, they didn't say. But I knew enough to know that the two were meeting up with Sora's brother and his boyfriend. I sighed.

I knew they meant well. They were the best friends a person could have, even if Sora was too gullible for his own well-being and if Riku was weirdly over-protective of both of us. They were a strange couple because the two weren't kissing and hugging and being, well, a couple all the time. I rarely saw them kiss, actually. They constantly held hands, but rarely did much else. Though I knew they had sex; that wasn't even a question. I'd walked in on them accidently too many times to count. They really needed to learn how to lock their door, especially since it was mine and Riku's room to begin with.

But that was beside the point. I knew they only wanted me to have someone in my life. And I could hardly blame them. Sometimes, I felt the same, but then I would think 'Who would want to be with _me_?' and I dismissed the thought from my mind.

I could only hope it wasn't the silent giant or the awkward scientist.

When I saw the same boy who walked into me accidently nearly a month previously, I almost ran away. Demyx Myde, a music and marine biology student, was a tall junior. He had hair not quite blonde, but not quite brunette, in a style that was a fusion of a mohawk and a mullet. His eyes were… different. But they were a beautiful different. They looked like the Caribbean Sea, nothing more and nothing less—a gorgeous clear blue-green colour. He looked nice in tight jeans and a baggy button-up that was left unbuttoned.

I quickly hid my face behind my hair. I was going to react to this situation like a college-aged adult, not like a high school boy who thought another boy was attractive.

Sora giggled and pushed me towards Demyx, and then grabbed Riku's hand and joined Roxas and Axel on the other side of Demyx.

I took a deep breath and walked forward, standing in front of Demyx.

"You're the guy I accidently bumped into," he stated. I looked away and nodded.

He glanced around and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Roxas and Axel dragged me here, and it looks like Sora and Riku did the same to you. Want to just… act like we're getting along and flirting so they'll get off our backs?"

I looked up and nodded. Demyx smiled and gestured to a picnic table behind him, and we sat down across from each other. Demyx did most of the talking, but he spoke in a voice quiet enough that our friends wouldn't hear anything except soft murmuring.

"I'm Demyx, by the way. I don't think I introduced myself when I bumped into you. Axel's my roommate, but we may as well let Roxas move in. Wait, no, that would be a horrible idea; they'd be going at it like rabbits every time I walk in. They're good friends, if not insane."

I felt my lips turn up in something of a smile. "Sora and Riku are much different. They don't flaunt their relationship like your friends. Though, I agree; if we allowed Sora to move in with us, I don't think I'd be able to live there any longer."

Demyx's eyes widened and he laughed. "Damn; I didn't think they'd have that kind of a relationship. Sora seems so… innocent." He shook his head at the thought.

"Yes, but he's… willing, from what Riku's told me." I shut my eyes and tried to dismiss the images of my two friends having sex.

Demyx seemed to be doing the same thing.

"So, um, how are you?" he asked me nervously.

I shrugged. "Riku and Sora woke me up way too early for my liking, and picked out my clothes and Sora did my makeup." I made a face, showing my dislike. "I wish they hadn't; if they'd have told me I was going on a date, I would've made myself look nice without their help."

Demyx nodded. "Axel jumped on my bed and hit me with a pillow this morning. When I lied back down, he picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. It was horrible," he laughed weakly, and then ran his hands over his face. "I hope he never does that again."

I smirked. "Riku knows to not do that to me," I told him. "The last time he did it, I replaced all of his clothes with dresses and his cologne for Britney Spears' perfume."

Demyx laughed aloud and grinned. "That would've been awesome to see."

I nodded. "It was quite a sight to see Riku wearing a dress suited for a princess and smelling like Circus."

He laughed again, and my stomach did flips. But I quelled them. I wasn't going to turn into a boy with no sense because I was talking to a cute guy.

We fell silent for a moment. I felt I was making things awkward; it usually happened, regardless of who I spoke with. But then, out of the blue, he asked, "Is your hair naturally that colour?"

I blushed, and immediately fought it back successfully. I nodded. In return, I asked something I'd wondered since I first saw him. "Are those contacts?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Nope; completely real."

I looked at his smile and saw beautiful straight, white teeth. I looked down at my fingers and ignored the feeling in my stomach. He was gorgeous.

* * *

**Demyx**

Every time he smiled, my stomach did flips—for several reasons. One reason was because it was beautiful, even if it was rare. The second reason was because it looked so sad, so lonely.

When he asked if my eyes were contacts, I didn't laugh aloud, though I wanted to. It was difficult, but I managed it, and I told him the truth. It was a question I was asked frequently; sometimes, I answered 'yes', only to be asked where I got them, which led to awkward replies instantly.

I put my chin in my folded arms on the table and looked at Zexion. His cheeks were tinged with a light-pink blush, and it looked beautiful against his porcelain complexion. I resisted the urge to take my fingers and brush them across his skin. Something told me that he wouldn't appreciate it much.

We kept up a small Q&A, but I never asked the question I really wanted to know: why did his smile look so sad? Part of me wondered if he noticed the sadness in my smile, too, but if he did, he didn't mention it. Part of me completely forgot about our four friends, lurking in the background watching us. I didn't care that they were spying; I was talking to a smart, gorgeous man who I had something in common with.

We talked for a few hours, until mid-afternoon, and that was when our four friends emerged from their hiding spots and acted as though they hadn't watched us for hours in the trees behind us. Sora grabbed Zexion by the hand and pulled him away towards their car, and Axel and Roxas sat on the bench where Zexion was.

I looked at the two of them and raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked them.

They smirked. "Oh, nothing," Roxas said. "Just… you two seemed pretty comfortable."

I rolled my eyes. "Is it now illegal for me to talk to a classmate?"

Axel, too, raised an eyebrow. "From what Sora and Riku told us, Zexion doesn't have conversations with any student other than themselves. Consider yourself lucky."

He stood and walked away, Roxas following behind closely and I ran after the two after realizing they were my ride back to the university. The ride back was full of the two guys making fun of me, to which I ignored blatantly and looked out my window.

I wished I had the guts to ask Zexion, but I knew I didn't.

Once in Axel's and my room, I lied down on my bed underneath my blankets and shut my eyes. This couldn't have been a coincidence, Zexion and I being put on a blind date. We had sad smiles in common, but not much else except that our friends were brothers. Said brothers knew that he and I would have little in common. The four friends couldn't have just looked at each other one day and thought "We should get them together".

As if he read my mind, Axel said, "We've seen you staring at him; that's why we did it."

I uncovered my head and looked at him. "I have not been staring at him," I argued, but it was pointless. Axel gave an airy laugh and shook his head.

"Of course not, Demyx," he said sarcastically. I stuck my tongue out at him and recovered my head.

If they'd seen me looking at Zexion, I thought, did that mean Zexion noticed? He didn't bring it up, if he did notice. But that didn't mean much, I reminded myself. I mentally groaned and willed all of my thoughts to go away, but we all know how well that works out.

* * *

**Zexion**

"I ought to hit both of you!" I yelled at the two of them back in our room. Riku laughed and Sora giggled at me.

Riku said simply, "We know you've been paying attention to him."

Sora added, "Giving him googley-eyes and everything," and he laughed.

I sputtered. "I have not!" I finally managed. But they refused to believe me.

So I ignored them—something I was good at. After almost an hour of the silent-treatment, Sora left to go back to his dorm room, leaving Riku and I alone.

He came to sit on my bed, where I was lying underneath the blankets. He unburied me and rolled his eyes.

"Zex, we know you are at least interested in him. You _have_ been looking at him during class and lunch. And you talked to him a lot today, almost more than you talk to Sora and I."

I rolled over and looked at him in the eye. I said quietly, "I feel comfortable with him."

He thought about it for a second, and nodded. "That's good."

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. Sitting up, I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head in them. "No it isn't, Riku," I told him.

He was quiet again. Then, he said in a quiet, calm voice, "You want to tell him?"

I looked at him and made a face that said 'I don't know'. "I don't want to, but I do. And he makes my stomach…fluttery." I threw my pillow across the room. "Damn him."

Riku smiled softly and picked me up, setting me down in his lap. "Feeling emotion _isn't_ bad, you know. It may actually be good for you."

I couldn't do anything except shake my head. I curled myself towards Riku's chest, feeling comforted in his warmth.

* * *

**Riku - the next day**

Sora and I were on our way to meet Roxas and Axel for breakfast. They'd left Demyx to sleep, and we had done the same for Zexion. He needed it.

Roxas and Axel were flirting when we walked up, about five seconds away from full-on making out. That didn't surprise me one bit. When Roxas saw us, he pushed Axel away and waved us over.

Axel said instantly, "Demyx can't stop thinking about him. I can tell."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "He hasn't been able to stop thinking about him for_ weeks_, you idiot."

Axel put a hand over his mouth and his other hand clutching his chest dramatically. "Oh, Roxy—how you wound me so!"

Roxas slapped Axel and then turned back to his brother. "How's Zexion?"

Sora looked to me with a worried look in his eyes. He wanted to update his brother on their plans, but didn't want to tell them anything that Zexion wouldn't like. I took his hand under the table reassuringly and looked at Roxas.

"Zex is doing okay. A little shaken, but fine," I told them. When they looked at me with blank, confused eyes, I sighed. "Zexion isn't used to talking so much to someone who isn't Sora or I. When he realized just how much he talked to Demyx, he kinda freaked. He's better now, but couldn't sleep well last night."

"Oh," the two said. "That makes sense," Axel added.

Sora looked at me again, and I could see his question in his eyes: _How well didn't he sleep last night?_

I nodded once, telling him silently that I would answer all his questions later when we were alone.

"And how's Demyx doing?" I asked them.

"As Roxas corrected me, he hasn't stopped thinking about Zexy for weeks. He got back and denied that he's been staring at him." Axel rolled his eyes. "We all know he has."

We each nodded.

It was then that Demyx entered the cafeteria. He looked pale—which was odd, considering his skin was normally faintly tanned—and his cheeks were red. Roxas immediately stood and jogged to Demyx.

I ran to catch up with him. "Hey, Dem; are you okay? You don't look so great," Roxas said.

Demyx shook his head. "I think I have a cold or some shit like that. I came by to tell you guys to not worry about me. I think I'm going to stay in bed and eat lots of soup today."

Axel, who got there just in time to hear Demyx's answer, put his arm around Demyx's waist. I couldn't blame him; he looked as though he were moments away from collapsing. Following his lead, I went to Demyx's other side and caught his waist just in time for Demyx to faint.

He and I, followed by Roxas and Sora, stumbled to their room and lied him down on his bed. He curled onto his side the second they let him go. Roxas put his hand to Demyx's forehead and immediately pulled his hand back. "He's burning up," he said.

Just then we heard a knock on the door. Axel groaned as he went to open it, and looked down with wide eyes to see my small, blue haired roommate.

"Zexion?" he asked.

He entered once he saw me and Sora, and then saw that we were all surrounding Demyx. "What's wrong? Is he okay?" he asked me immediately.

I nodded. "He's just sick, Zex. He'll be fine." But he knew what I said and what I meant were two different things. He was told the same thing about his mother, and she was now six feet under the ground. He narrowed his eyes and moved to Demyx's side.

Axel, Roxas, Sora and I watched with careful eyes as Zexion moved around the room, trying to find various towels and pills. He finally came back with two cold pills and a damp hand towel. He carefully woke Demyx up, and handed him the pills—Roxas handed Demyx a glass of water—and began wiping the fever sweat off of Demyx's forehead.

Axel grabbed Roxas's and Sora's hands, who grabbed mine, and we all left quietly, leaving the two students by themselves.

* * *

**Demyx**

I didn't understand what was going on, other than I was having fever-dreams. Axel, Roxas, Zexion, and I—we were on a ledge, looking over on some town, eating blue ice cream. And I… I was holding Zexion's hand, just as Axel was holding Roxas's.

And then I woke up, and I saw four pairs of eyes staring at me: Axel, Roxas, Sora, and Riku.

Then I'd fall back into my dream, but now I was in what I assumed was my room. It was blue, with darker blue rings that resembled bubbles covering the walls, and I was playing my beloved sitar. I stopped when there was a loud banging on the wall next to me, and curled up on my bed.

Then I woke back up to swallow two pills, and I saw beautiful indigo eyes looking into mine. Zexion's eyes- I would recognize them anywhere.

That was when I forced myself to stay awake. I wasn't going to waste any time with him. I smiled at him. He frowned and sat Indian-style beside me on my bed, carefully patting a damp towel on my face.

"Hello, Zexion," I said with a shy smile.

The corner of his lips turned up. "Hello, Demyx," he replied.

I looked at him, feeling my fast-beating heart slow down. A few minutes later, he let out a breath. "Your face isn't as red." He placed the back of his hand on my forehead. He sighed. "But you still have a fever."

I didn't say anything, just looked at him. When he looked back into my eyes, he looked like he was blushing. There was a very faint pink tint on his cheeks, and he looked adorable.

I gave him, no doubt, a dopey smile. He didn't look me in the eyes.

"What?" he asked as he returned from getting a bowl of water. "You keep staring at me."

I giggled. "You're beautiful."

He blushed harder, and I took his hand in mine. I pulled him down to his side. "Lie down with me," I told him.

He sat back up. "You're sick, Demyx; do you want me sick, too?" he asked me.

I frowned. "Please?" I asked.

He looked at me and I could see stubbornness in his eyes. "No, Demyx. You're sick."

I pouted.

A few minutes later, I could feel sleep wanting to come over me. I fought it, though. I didn't want to fall asleep, not when I was so close to Zexion.

I was successful in my attempts to stay awake. Well, I kind of was. My fever must have risen, because I was suddenly feeling extremely light-headed and giggly.

"Zexy, how old are you?" I asked him.

He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, sticking a thermometer in my mouth. "I'm twenty, and don't call me Zexy. Keep still."

Again I pouted, but I did as he said and stayed still. When the thermometer beeped its finishing beep, Zexion looked at it and then at me quickly.

"That shouldn't be possible…" he murmured.

Even through my fever, I knew he was being serious. Blinking hard several times, I looked at Zexion. He was resetting the thermometer, and then I felt him place it in my mouth again. But when it beeped again and he checked it, he looked as though he were freaking out.

He picked up his phone and dialed a phone number.

"Riku, I think he may need to go to the ER." He listened to his friend. "No, no, he isn't in a coma or anything; his temperature is 105.6 ͦ F. That _isn't_ good."

He was quiet again, listening to his friend. I felt dizziness and sleep cloud over my mind, and I fell asleep quickly.

I remember waking up once or twice, only for a few seconds each time. The first time, Zexion was trying to wake me up. The second time, Riku was carrying me into his car, setting me gently in the backseat, my head in Zexion's lap.

* * *

**Zexion**

I was worried about Demyx. He wouldn't wake up for me, and he wouldn't wake up for his roommate. The first thought I had was "Take him to the ER", but it was too far away. Then I thought of Dr. Even, or Vexen as he liked me to call him. I ushered the guys to follow me, and they did.

I knocked on his lab's door quickly. He took a few seconds to open the door, and when he did and he saw the scene in front of him, he pulled us all in and looked at me.

"Zexion, what's happened?"

I was too busy trying to catch my breath to answer. Riku answered for me. "Demyx is unconscious and has a fever of 105 degrees. We thought the ER was too far away, and Zexion brought us here."

"Please; you're a scientist. Can't you do anything?" I begged.

He looked at me with his icy green eyes, and he nodded slightly. Riku and Sora moved to my sides.

Just then, Demyx's eyelids began fluttering open. I figured he was cooling off—Dr. Even kept his room at a near freezing temperature, and that would definitely counteract Demyx's fever.

I tugged Riku's sleeve, and nodded my head towards the door we entered when he looked at me. I left without a word, almost running back to my room.

* * *

**Axel**

I was worried about my blonde-haired friend. I didn't risk carrying him to the room, allowing Riku do that because I knew my abnormally warm body temperature wouldn't do anything to help his fever. Zexion, too, seemed worried. If the situation weren't so serious, I'd have laughed and called our plan a success.

Yet when Demyx's eyes opened and his fever steadily began dropping, Zexion was gone, which truly was saddening because the first person Demyx asked for was the blue-haired student.

I walked over towards where Riku had let Demyx down, and rested my elbows on the table. "Want some ice cream?" I asked him. To the others, it would seem like a random, out-of-the-blue question, but I'd known Demyx for years. When he was sick and had a fever, the one thing he always wanted was a nice big ice-cream cone.

And sure enough, his eyes lit up.

Back in our room, Demyx was lying down in bed as though he were asleep. But I knew he was faking. He usually only faked being asleep when he was too busy thinking, and he didn't want people bothering him.

Roxas and I were quietly talking on my bed, both of us sitting on top of the covers.

"He's been acting different for a few weeks," Roxas murmured softly.

I looked over at him and nodded sadly. "I don't think he's even realized it, though."

Roxas glanced at him, too. "Do you think he likes Zexion?"

"You know, I think he does," I said. "He's been so focused on him for almost a month. It'd be nice if he had someone he can love."

"I agree."

* * *

**Demyx**

Several weeks passed, and I didn't hear from Zexion. I was no longer sick, and was the picture of perfect health… except for constant feeling of loneliness in my chest, despite almost always being accompanied by Axel and/or Roxas. Several times I stopped Riku and Sora, and every time they apologized with a sad smile and said Zexion was too busy studying.

I knew they were lying. I'd see Zexion out on the benches in the middle of the university, watching the students and teachers mingle. Sometimes he'd have a book with him, and other times he'd have his leather-bound journal. There were times I'd see him when Axel and Roxas would take me out to lunch or dinner.

Every time I saw him, something twisted in my gut. And every time I saw him, I immediately went back to my room or begged Axel to drive me back to our room.

My grades were reflecting my bad weeks, too. What had once been A's and B's were now C's and D's, and my teachers had told me that to pass I required a tutor.

As if to make matters worse, my fever dreams of Roxas, Axel, Zexion and I still haunted me. And now, they were becoming more vivid, and I began having more of them. They included a circular room with thirteen chairs, and I recognized the pirate man, the man who reminded me of Spike from Buffy, Dr. Even, Zexion, Axel, Roxas, Lexaeus, and a pink-haired student with a love for flowers. The only four I didn't recognize were a tanned man with silvery hair, a blue-haired man with a scar in the shape of an X on his face, a large man with thick dreadlocks and purple eyes, and a woman with blonde antennae-like hair pieces.

In this particular moment, I was on my way to see my tutor. I hadn't asked who he or she was; I was only told where to go and when. I only hoped the person wasn't the type who was completely fixated on school and didn't tolerate anything else.

But when I saw the indigo-eyed man who I'd been avoiding, it was all I could do to not run away or lock up.

Zexion seemed to not have had the same reaction as I did. Actually, he didn't seem to have any reaction at all. He looked at me for a few seconds, and other than a tiny widening of his eyes, he said nothing and didn't react at all. He looked down and continued with his writing.

I forced my legs to walk me to the table that he sat at and sat down, looking at my hands as I folded them on the top of the desk.

I didn't absorb a thing in the lesson. I couldn't comprehend what Zexion was saying; I was too busy focusing on not telling him everything that had happened.

Something I didn't understand was how I was so willing to trust Zexion. In all reality, I'd never had more than one true conversation with him, and the one that we _did_ have was a blind-date set up by our mutual friends. It wasn't logical that I would trust him so readily from that one conversation.

When the tutoring session finally ended, I nearly ran away to my room. For once, Roxas wasn't there, and Axel was sitting cross-legged on his bed wearing reading glasses, with multiple textbooks open before him and matching notebooks full of what looked like notes. When I entered, he looked at me and nodded in welcome, then returned to his studying.

"How was tutoring?" he asked nonchalantly.

I gulped silently. "Oh, fine," I answered, cringing inwardly when I heard the tremor in my voice.

"You're lying," he said. But it was strange; the way he said it made it sound as though he had asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. He said it like it was nothing out of the ordinary, like it was a regular occurrence. He didn't say it accusingly, and he didn't even look up from his books.

So I didn't respond, instead changing into my pajamas and curling underneath my blankets, placing my iPod's headphones in my ears and tuning out the world.

I woke up to a scene similar to the morning of my blind-date. Axel jumped on my bed and smacked me with my pillow, yelling at me in my ear to wake up. I glared at him, but calmed down a little when I saw the time: 12pm. It was noon; I'd slept in till noon. I sighed and sat up, rubbing my eyes with my fingers.

"Dem, we're going to get some coffee and lunch. Just you and me," he said.

I nodded with a yawn, and got up to take a shower and change.

When I did all of that business and put on jeans, a band shirt, and shoes, Axel waited for me to exit the door. He didn't tug me out of the dorm room like he typically did, which struck me as odd.

But what was worse was when we got to the café and I saw indigo eyes and a silver-haired man sitting at a table set for two. Upon seeing us, Riku stood.

My immediate reaction was to turn around and wait for Axel in the car, but Axel had a strong hold on my wrist, pulling me with him to the table. I sat down in Riku's former seat, only because it was better than Axel forcing me down onto the chair.

Axel spoke first. "You two are being weird as fuck; we, Riku and I—well, we collaborated, if you will."

"We're going to give you some time alone," Riku told us. "But we're going to be watching you two to make sure you don't run away. You two are _going_ to talk whether you want to or not."

Then he and my roommate left, leaving Zexion and I sitting at the table, looking at our hands awkwardly.

Several silent moments later, Zexion said, "I think we should talk."

I looked at him, wondering what he was getting at.

He sighed and continued. "Roxas and Axel are worried about you. They're saying you're losing weight, not talking to them. And I know your grades are slipping. Axel even said you aren't playing your sitar." He looked at me. "What's wrong?"

I looked at the ceiling, and then looked back at him with a sarcastic smile. "Do you want to know something, Zexion?" I asked him.

He hesitantly shrugged.

I laughed, but it was more of a dry chuckle. "When I first ran into you, you smiled… and your smile was so sad. And I thought—I thought 'Wow, maybe there's someone who is just as sad as I am'. So I started watching you. I wasn't stalking; I wouldn't call it that. I didn't follow you around, taking thousands of pictures of you. I didn't take notes of what you did, and I didn't memorize your schedule. But I did watch you during class, and with Sora and Riku.

"I think that's why Axel and Roxas set me up on that date with you. They knew I'd been focusing on you for a few weeks. And the only thing I've wanted to know was what could've happened in your life to make your smile so sad.

"But then, I got sick, and I _know_ you were freaking out in your weird way. You don't show as much emotion as most people—that's something I've learned about you. But when you're around someone you feel comfortable with or someone you… I don't know, trust, I guess—you let your guard down.

"You were the one to get me to some kind of a doctor, even if it was Dr. Even. But when I woke up, you were gone. Riku was there, and so was Sora… but you weren't.

"And ever since that damned fever, I've been having these weird dreams. Hell, they might as well be considered nightmares. And it's _us_—you and me, and Roxas, and Axel, and Sora, and Riku, and so many of our classmates. And part of me knows it's real, that it did happen, and they're memories. But I also know that none of them ever happened, ever.

"And the thing that really confuses the hell out of me, Zexion," I continued, already regretting it before I said it, "is that I care about you. Fuck, I _really_ care about you. And I can't think of any reason why I should, because we've only had one real conversation with each other."

Zexion looked at me intently during my rant, and when I finished, he seemed to be at a loss for words. I couldn't blame him. I might as well have told him my entire life story. I didn't expect him to actually give me back a response, let alone look me right in the eye the entire time.

"You're right: I don't show emotion as much as most people, and that, I assume, would also explain why my smile is sad, as you put it. My mother died when I was seven from lung cancer. My remaining family refused to accept me as being homosexual; they hated me for it. Honestly, I didn't expect much acceptance from them in the first place, but I still hoped. They kicked me out.

"After being homeless for about two weeks, I moved in with my boyfriend at the time. His name was Xaldin. He looks a lot like Lexaeus, only with black dreadlocks and large sideburns. Xaldin was an abusive, drunken asshole and he really only liked me for sex. But I couldn't leave—that was the only place I could call home.

"In my final year of high school, I met Riku, and he became my saviour. He's legally emancipated, and lived in an apartment not far from the school we went to. He became my closest friend, and allowed me to move in with him. Then he met Sora, and the three of us became bestfriends.

"Perhaps that's why Riku is so protective of me," he seemed to have mused.

"When I bumped into _you_, I couldn't help but wonder the same thing. _Your_ smile wasn't happy; I couldn't tell what was lying underneath it, but I realized some days later that it was pain. I refused to pay more attention to you than I did previously, but I couldn't get you out of my mind. But then, we had our arranged date, and I could hardly stop myself from asking you the same question you wanted to ask me.

"I don't know if I care for you the way you care for me," he finally said. "But I do care for you as a friend, if nothing else."

When he finished, I looked at him long and hard in the eyes. "But then… why did you leave when I woke up in Dr. Even's lab?" I asked, my voice sounding small and childlike, and full of hurt.

This time, he looked away. "I had to study," he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was lying; I knew he was. He looked at me, too.

"Tell me, Zexion: if it had been Riku, would you have left to 'study', or would you stay until you knew your friend was safe?"

He shut his eyes tightly, not replying.

"Answer me, damnit!" I whispered angrily, not wanting to cause a scene in the small, quiet café.

Zexion looked at me with venom in his eyes, and, were I not angry, I would've flinched. He then stood, grasped my wrist tightly in his hand, and dragged me out into an empty alleyway near the cafe.

He stood in front of me and pulled me down closer to him. "Demyx, I don't know what the hell your problem is, but do not bring Riku—or Sora—into this."

I glared back with just as much anger. "_Then answer me_," I said, putting as much emotion into the three words that I could.

Zexion narrowed his eyes and seemed to infuse his anger into them. He looked livid. "Demyx, I do not have to do a damn thing. I don't have to answer your question, and I don't even have to talk to you."

He turned away, but I grabbed his wrist tightly just as he turned away.

I didn't know what possessed me to do what I did, only that the heat of the moment must have taken over my brain. Because what I did, what I allowed myself to do….

I kissed Zexion. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him with everything I had in my soul.

And he—he kissed me back. After a few seconds, he reached his hands up and threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling at it. I pushed him against the wall, attacking his jawline and neck with my lips and teeth, running my hands along his sides, digging my fingers into his hips.

And then, just as quickly as it started, it stopped. I pulled away, and looked into Zexion's eyes—they went from half-lidded with passion to wide-eyed with shock.

And then he ran away, leaving me standing in the alley, still staring in the direction he ran off in.

It wasn't long after that Axel joined me. By that time, I'd sat down, using the wall as a support for my back, with my chin resting on my folded knuckles. Axel sat down beside me, and he didn't say a word.

We sat like that for a few minutes, until I finally got the courage to say, "I kissed him."

And when I said that, he seemed to have chuckled. "Oh, I'd say you did more than kiss him. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a few hickeys for the next few days."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Axel laughed and stood, putting his hands out to help me up. I sighed and allowed him to help me up, and then we left for our room.

* * *

**Zexion**

Riku didn't say anything in the car ride back to our room, not even a "So how did it go?"

But since I seemed too shocked to move out of my bed for the first few hours since we got back, he decided to bring me soup and a glass of water. I silently thanked him and he sat at the foot of my bed as I ate.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

He first asked it when I was in the middle of eating my soup, and I didn't respond because I had a mouth full of noodles. He asked again when I finished my bowl, though I still didn't answer. This last time, I was simply sitting Indian-style under my blankets, leaning my head on my lap. I sighed, knowing I couldn't ignore him forever.

"He kissed me," I said.

Something I'd always liked about Riku was that he didn't overreact or blow up. In this case, he sat silently, waiting for me to tell him everything on my own time.

I eventually did.

"We were arguing… and I was about to leave… but he pulled me back to him, and he kissed me. And I kissed him back." I buried my face further in my hands, hiding the scarlet blush on my face.

Riku was still being quiet, until he asked, "Do you like him?"

I buried my head even further. "I think I do," I admitted uncertainly.

"Then what's the problem?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer him. What_ was_ the problem? I liked Demyx… but did I _like _him? Did I… love him?

It would make sense, I thought reluctantly. It explained a few things: why I felt nervous around him, why I felt so shaken because of the kiss, why I felt jealous when I even thought of anyone else flirting with him….

I looked at Riku. "I think I'm going to steer clear of him. Just for today—and maybe tomorrow…."

He nodded. "Demyx will understand; Axel's probably having a similar talk to him now." He smiled and went to open the door for Sora, who had knocked.

* * *

**Demyx**

Several days had passed, yet I heard nothing from Zexion. Even Riku and Sora seemed to have been avoiding me. I didn't even wonder what I did to deserve it—I knew that it was because I'd kissed Zexion.

I was going to give him his space, though. Midterms were over, and winter-break was beginning. Roxas and Sora were going to visit their parents, and Axel was tagging along with them, which meant I was going to have our room to myself.

The following Sunday, the day before winter break officially started, I found myself sitting in the university's café, watching its customers come and go. I saw happy customers who were there on dates, and I saw customers who simply were attempting to escape the snowy weather.

I turned the volume up on my iPod, just loud enough to block out the buzzing chatter of the coffeehouse, but not too loud as to ruin my hearing. I kept my eyes open, but only so I could watch the patrons of the café.

I sipped at my coffee and focused my eyes on two men. I knew who they were despite the fact that I'd never met them. The two were equal height, one with silvery hair and the other with true-blue hair—unlike Zexion's blue hair, that was a combination of various blues. The blue-haired man, when he turned around, had a large X-shaped scar across his otherwise attractive face. His name was Saix. The other man was Xemnas.

I looked away before either of them would know I was watching them. Very deep inside me, I was freaking out. But another part of me wasn't shocked. I'd dreamt of people who I hadn't met before, though nowhere near as often since I'd been sick.

I turned my music up louder in an attempt to stop hearing my own thoughts, and I set my coffee down on the table in front of me. Adjusting my body to sit cross-legged, I shut my eyes and leaned down, resting my head in my lap. Despite it looking awkward, it was oddly comfortable.

I sat like that long enough for the album I was listening to repeat itself. It was then that I decided it was time for me to go back to my room and shower. I stood and stretched my tight muscles.

Once I was out in the winter chill again, I pulled my hood over my head. It was beginning to snow, even though I knew it wouldn't stick for at least another week or so. Still, I smiled and held my hand out as though I were seven years old again, catching snowflakes in my mouth and in my hands.

When I looked back up, I was shocked to see Zexion standing directly in front of me.

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly.

I nodded slowly, and motioned for him to follow me. He followed me closely.

* * *

**Zexion**

He led me to his room. I didn't know exactly what had prompted me to talk to him, only that I couldn't put it off any longer that I already had. I opened my mouth when he shut his door behind us, but he spoke before I could.

"Zex, before we talk, can I shower?" he asked.

"Of course," I said in my soft voice. Demyx nodded and grabbed some clothes from his dresser before entering his bathroom. Before shutting the door, he looked at me.

"You can make yourself at home, you know," he told me.

I nodded.

He didn't take long in the shower; I assumed he only washed his hair and then got out. I fought the blush that tempted to seep into my cheeks when Demyx returned wearing only a pair of jeans and his hair wet from the shower.

He's built like a swimmer, I thought. He was thin but had numerous muscles visible in his smooth, sun-kissed skin. When he pulled an undershirt out from his dresser, I could clearly see the muscles in his back as he put it on over his head.

He looked at me as he towel-dried his hair. "I'm sorry for leaving you to shower, by the way. I'd been putting it off since Axel left, and it's cold out so I figured I'd warm up in there."

I shook my head. "It's fine."

He sat down and looked away somewhat awkwardly. I cleared my throat; I didn't know where to begin.

Then he said, "I'm sorry. In the café… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk about," I told him quietly.

He looked at me confusedly but waited patiently for me to explain. When I finally managed to, it took all of my power to keep my voice calm.

"I never answered you. When you asked why I left when you were sick, I didn't answer. I… I was scared. That's why I left. I didn't hesitate to call Riku or get you to Dr. Even's lab, but when you started to wake up, I got scared. I started realizing just how much I cared about you. I think you know that when someone reaches a certain temperature, they can suffer from brain-damage or death…. I was terrified, and my mind kept going to the worst scenarios, each one involving you gone, and I was scared."

He looked at me with sad eyes. He didn't interrupt me, though.

"So I tried to stay away from you so I could, I don't know, get my head on straight. So I could know what my feelings were towards you. But I kept noticing you, and you looked thinner and paler, and I couldn't stand that I'd been the cause of your pain."

I gulped. "Then Riku and Axel got us together, and we argued. I didn't know half of what I said, but I knew it hurt me that we were so angry with each other. But then you kissed me, and I knew what my feelings were telling me."

I took a deep breath, mentally and physically preparing myself for my next sentence.

"I love you, Demyx."

* * *

**Demyx**

I listened to Zexion intently. I was grateful that he was finally telling me everything. But then he told me that he loved me.

I leaned forward and wiped away a small tear that had escaped Zexion's eye. I smiled and placed my hands on his cheeks. His pink lips separated slightly, and his eyes were wide and filled with unushed tears. I stroked my thumb across his cheekbone, wiping away another tear, and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, too, Zexion," I told him.

I pulled away just far enough to look at Zexion. He was smiling—the first smile of his that was completely happy, and it was devastatingly beautiful. He stood on his knees on my bed, and kissed me softly.

Several hours later, he and I were lying in a tangle of limbs covered in sheets. I lied there, admiring Zexion's smooth chest and kissed it softly, and trailed more kisses onto his neck until I reached his lips. There, I took his lower lip in my mouth and nipped it playfully. Zexion smiled and ran a hand absentmindedly through my hair.

"I love you, Zexion," I said for the hundredth time that night. It still hadn't gotten old.

I knew I'd never get used to the butterflies that wracked my stomach when he would look me and kiss me with a quiet, "I love you, too, Demyx."

* * *

**Epilogue**

Zexion and I shared my room for the remainder of winter break. We spent most of the time enjoying our own company, learning more and more about each others' lives, and exploring each others' bodies.

One prime example of that was the day we slept in together after a very…busy night. We both were naked, and admiring the love bites we'd left on each other on various parts of our bodies.

One thing we hadn't planned on was Axel bursting through the door, yelling, "Honey, I'm home!"

When he saw Zexion and I under my sheets and blankets, his eyes widened and, after a moment, he grinned. "It's about damn time," he said. Dropping his bags in the doorway, he left saying, "I'm going to talk to Roxas about staying with him and Sora in their room. Have fun." He turned back around to give us a suggestive brow-wiggle, which I couldn't help but laugh at.

I looked back at Zexion and he was covering his entire face—minus his eyes—with the sheets. I smiled gently and uncovered his face, kissing him again.

"That was embarrassing," he said against my lips.

I shrugged when we pulled away. "At least he didn't walk in on us while we were still having sex," I said honestly. "I did that to him and Roxas accidently once. I bunked with Lexaeus that night."

He smiled, too. "I always roomed with my cousin."

I raised an eyebrow. He laughed. "You probably have seen him; he's impossible to miss: tall, blue hair, X-shaped scar on his face—"

"Saix is your cousin?" I asked.

He nodded.

I raised both my eyebrows. "I saw him and some guy in the student's café the other day," I told him.

He rolled his eyes. "Silver hair, orange eyes?" I nodded. He sighed. "It was Xemnas, his boyfriend."

I didn't bother telling him that I already knew that. Instead I shook my head. "Is everybody at this school gay?" I asked him.

He grinned and nipped me on the neck. "I can only speak for myself," he said.

"I love you, Demyx," he told me.

"I love you, too, Zexion."


End file.
